Jiaqun
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20050128
i'll be back...
我的声音在笑 泪在飙 电话那头的你可知道?
i hate the feeling of trying to sound happy when i'm not......
won't be blogging anytime soon, don't feel like blogging. the more i see the blogs, the more depressing i will get. sad eh...but i'll be back soon with more updates of my f**ked up life.
isignoff2:52 PM
everything is so fucked up
I'M GOING CRAZY!!! ARGH....AH.... WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???!!!
hey...i'm in control in this f**ked up world, what else can i possibly not do? what's the point of calling me up when you actually met her on the same day? feeling guilty? i don't think so. she's smitten over you, what can i say? sentimental? what a nice word to use. so you are going to have a great time with her sooner or later, need me to send champage there for you to celebrate? think it's fun? not to me. i've been trying so hard yet you still don't understand a single thing i did. everything's so wrong for me, maybe it's my retribution for being such a bitchy, slutty whore since the day of you-know-when. that's who i am, what i'm going to be and what i will be for you.
isignoff1:15 AM
20050127
take ur butt away from my seat!!!
anyone have any chance got stuck in a situation where a person took up most of the seat and left you with only a teeny weeny space to breathe? this is my story:
one fine evening, i took 156 bus home from j8, chose a window seat and happily took out my the da vinci code book out to read. after a few stops, this man, apparently 40 plus, boarded the bus and saw an empty seat beside me and happily seated down. wa lau, he so heavy. fine, i can feel the movement of the chair moving up and back down again. wa lau, he stinks. i can smell his stinky breath even if im like a few kilometres away from him. hold your breathe. continue reading my book, but i didn't expect him to keep shifting his position until he was very close to me. fine, he was much a bigger size person than me. so i shifted more closer to the window so that there is some space in between us cos 'boy girl thin thin no green'. but he seems to take everything for granted, keep shifting more and more in with a handphone in his hand. lame shit. oh, he was playing some stupid handphone games which gave out irritating noises, doesn't he know there's such thing as silent mode? and so he keep moving in and in until a point where my whole body was stuck to the window and my hands cannot hold my book the way a person should be holding his or her book. breathe breathe, you have to stay cool. thinking that i'm going to alight after some more stops, and i mean some MORE stopS, i shall just ignore him and continue with my book. weiweiwei uncle, for your information, i have paid a full adult fare to sit on a full seat. now, im just sitting on half of the chair, may i know whether you paid a 1 and 1/2 fare to sit on 1 and 1/2 seats? if you did, find a 1 and 1/2 seat, don't just come squeezing into my territory. sorry, did i heard or see wrongly? you didn't pay for 1 and 1/2 seats? can you just take your butt away from my seat!!!
anyway, i really hate it when perverts try to get fresh with girls on bus. if they are so desperate, go to geylang la, only $20 i heard, why still go around scaring innocent young girls. think it's cool? think again. typical pervertic guys, don't know what's in their mind other than you-know-what. go get a life man...
isignoff10:20 PM
20050125
mtvs...
today went to tonghow's house to watch movie, download some stuffs, burn some stuffs, pass him some disc and take my contact lens. finished the half-eaten sara lee cake, chocolate swirl de, very nice worz, i never eat that for months. think next time go his house must buy something for him to return his 'kindness'...hahaZ. watched mtv in his house, so happy, mtvs really turn mi on. saw mtv of green day's 'boulevard of broken dreams', busted's 'year 3000', the androids 'do it with madonna' and many many more. haiz...stressed again, how i wish i have scv in my home. so surprising, kevin said his band is choosing to play green day's 'boulevard of broken dreams'. they will surely play the song well, they are skilled, so no doubt in that. how i wish i can hear them play...haiz...
isignoff10:57 PM
20050124
rest rest and more rest
can at last rest today after 2 busy weeks. woke up early today, helped my sis to upload a picture to her briefcase cos she need it in school. ate my breakfast, switched on my beloved radio and slack in my room. start reading the da vinci code, quite interesting in the beginning, but some parts i don't understand. realised that my command of english is really very poor, but my chinese didn't seem to be good as well. fell asleep while reading the book, not that it's not interesting, it's just that my eyes are tired, the songs are very nice, my bed is very comfortable, the room is very cosy and i'm feeling very relax, that's why. kahwoon said he went to j8 to look for me on sat and today, but on sat he didn't see me, today i'm not working there le, so we didn't meet in the end. haiz...wad a bad timing. anyway, wanna thank him for 'trying' to find me, he's really a great friend. today is a simple day for me, nothing special happen for what i remembered. tomorrow going out, at last, i want to pay my overdue bill and return my library book before it date due.
isignoff11:01 PM
20050123
last day of work!!!
today is my last day of work, finally i have my freedom back again after today. went to work at around noon, saw many people in the shop already. great, the war started early today. lots of shouting, running and climbing up and crouching down along the way. attacked everyone that walks into the shop, only three against as many as i forgot, but we managed to survive, yeah! the boss came in suddenly in the late afternoon, collect some stuffs and went back. today was so busy that we don't even have the time to eat our meals. some more the mediacorp people are having their autographing session at j8, more crowded. end up eating bread for dinner, turns out to be quite a nice bread with ham and mustard. got one really cute girl today came into the shop, her face is so round, think she eat burger everyday such that her face turns into a burger shape too. oh ya, found out that mayday's song are quite nice, the cd are not bad too. well, although i'm not working there anymore, i will surely go back some days later to collect my lunch box and buy the hair clip and the star shaped key chain there. oh, another thing, i finally got the da vinci code book!!! so happy, waited for so long to read the book, now that i have the book, i have more things to do.
isignoff11:41 PM
20050121
true
change my blog's song again. the song now is 'true' by ryan cabrera, chose specially for my tag board. those who know me well should get what i mean.
isignoff11:33 PM
20050120
what a boring day
haiz...guess that my life is really very boring. even me myself also find myself boring. living in a boring place, working a boring job, having a boring life, engaging in boring conversation... tomorrow had to work in toa payoh instead of bishan, don't really know if toa payoh's branch is more fun or not. heard that there got many pervert uncle who peek at innocent young ladies who wear short skirts, some more is peek infront of everyone, not afraid to die lidat... liseng promised to help me get vjc de badge, how nice of him. actually not i want the badge de, is my friend who collects badges asked me to help her one. well, guess i can get to meet liseng after knowing him for quite some time.
isignoff10:16 PM
20050119
early dismissal
today work from 2pm to 7pm then go home le, they are so smart to let me off early. because there are not many customers, they let me off early so that they don't have to pay me more if i stay behind doing nothing.
isignoff11:42 PM
20050118
boring day
today went to work only in the afternoon, went there not many things to do, paste stickers, hang clothes, fold clothes, serve customers, look around, day dream, eat dinner, serve customer again. today the shop very quiet, not many customer, so i get to leave early at 8pm. the air con in the mall and the shop is totally out od control, so cold, even wearing a jacket doesn't help at all. hope tomorrow there's more things for me to do.
isignoff10:47 PM
20050117
dates...
today no need work, went to cp meet swee keng to bring him to avril's house because he never go her house before. he bought a new phone, so go to avril's house to infra nice themes and ringtones from the computer to the phone. after that went to hougang mall to shop. very long never go out with avril, we seems to talk alot during the shopping trip. saw jim and xiu min there too, humph, i didn't say anything. hahaZ. took bus to katong there to meet wenwu, we had a date today, play play type only. missed my bus stop and had to walk a few distance to his work place. after that take train down to douby gaut. went to mac house's this fashion to look for a pair of jeans, but then wenwu refuse to accompany me, said he will embarress to follow a girl shopping for clothes. don't care him, he waited outside for his friend who was a guy from nchs sec 3a, to come. in the end also came into the shop together, was rushing me to be quick. i never bought anything because all the jeans not nice and not fitting. went to play pool after that, at last, i can have my hands on the pool since the last time i played with tonghow about a week ago. i lost all the games i played, had to pay for the renting of table. had fun today, although our date become a three person date, kind of going back to last time where i always go out with jim and jason. miss that kind of days, but things aren't the same anymore. people grow up and change, and work is keeping everyone busy.
isignoff10:49 PM
20050116
last day of work i assume
today is sunday, and im still working like usual. didn't blog yesterday due to the full shift today. today is the last day of the fair, might be the last day i'm working. didn't like working as sales assistant afterall, some of the customers are idiotic, i shall not continue with that. kah woon went to look for me yesterday, so touched, he's the first person who came and looked for me since i worked there for about a week. oh ya, he still look as cute as before, humph, he's really very cute leh. wonder if his past girlfriends ever said that, having a relationship with such a cute guy is really kind of a fantasy. haha, i shall not continue with that too. today saw dennis chew in j8, guess he's hosting the autography session of some new artist i don't know and not interested to know. can't wait for tomorrow, go out shopping for new clothes and playing pool. one week never touch pool le, now hand itchy. guess i have more time to blog after i quit my job, my life is getting better.
isignoff11:14 PM
20050114
*sob*
whenever i hear the song 'always' by bon jovi, i would cry because the song too touching le. the lyrics is very meaningful and it really voice out how i feel right now. haiz...
isignoff11:32 PM
20050113
phyllis quek?
today's work is okay, acutally today is afternoon shift one, but then last minute change to full shift. the new stock came today, a $40 plus dress. 40% cotton and 60% nylon, thread is made of 100% nylon, no wonder it cost so much. nowadays children very lucky, everything branded one. ate vegetable rice in the afternoon, the people working there all pervert one, called me and asked me for my name, lame. wonder if i should go there and buy vegetable rice again, don't like them staring at me or something. think all of them is ah bengs, well, most selling vegetable rice is beng one. my seniors said that my eyes look like phyllis quek, in school my juniors said that too. do you know that phyllis have triple eyelids just like mi? i've been noticing it for quite some time. if i ever look like phyllis quek, that would be great. then i would not be ugly, i will be pretty.
isignoff11:04 PM
20050112
i should be so lucky
does anyone know how lucky it is to be able to sit down?
isignoff10:30 PM
20050111
another tiring day
today woke up with back pain, work with tiredness from yesterday. stupid school woke me up everyday with the loud music and national anthem, wonder why i don't feel that it is loud when i was in school. think i'll be sleeping in my sis's room today so that i won't be woken up by the noise. got tired in the evening, im still so weak. how can i be strong? oh, the supervisor send me home today, how nice of her. tomorrow start work at 2pm, hope that i can get more rest today.
isignoff10:45 PM
20050110
first day of my sceond job
work at junction 8's cerisi, children's clothes and accessories, quite easy to remember everything in the shop. in the morning i stayed in the shop to get familiar with the merchandise. went for lunch, ate half of my chicken rice, and went back to work. went downstairs to the fair to take over one of the senior while she go for her lunch. but then i stayed down there for the whole remaining hours. oh, cerisi is having discounts and offers, anyone with younger brother or sister can come and take a look. saw weijie working at S&K which is just a few walk from the fair, said hi and went for my dinner. ate half of my vegetable rice and went back to work. shocked to see that everything was being messed up after i came back from dinner, i guess there are more customers after dinner time. an hour before the fair close had to fold back all the clothes, the clothes seem like cannot finish folding. took bus home and reached home around 10.15pm. i thought i would never thought of things that i don't like, but i just cannot forget. maybe i should bang my head on the wall to erase all the past memories that are coming back haunting me and hurting me now.
isignoff10:42 PM
20050109
sunday
starting work tomorrow, how i wish i have some more days to relax before that. but then i guess starting work early will be good for me so that i would not have time to think about stuffs that i don't wish to think about. really tired of my life, hope to change it. i miss my friends, hope to see them soon. anyway, i think i found another best friend lately, we have been hanging around lately together. i don't think i have time to slack anymore, i shall keep my blog nice and short.
isignoff9:48 PM
20050107
job job job
today went for an interview again, somewhere at ang mo kio ave 10. took me some time to locate the place. at first i walked wrongly to the back door, then see every door locked up, so called to ask the place again. the person who interviewed me was a pretty young and cute lady and she's pregnant. her name is call vivian, so coincidence, she's ex nan chiau student who graduated when the school was still very popular at river valley there. she confirm me immediately, i guessed partly is because they really need people or because my cousin's fiancee introduced this job to me so must give face. had to reject the waitress job at orchard where jason, jim and junyong is working. hey, i realised that if i ever work there, there will be 4 Js in the house! oh, i rejected the job at T.I.T.A.N also, no use going for 3 days lesson then can qualify for the job. starting work soon, no more slacking. kind of sad, i still want to sleep late and wake up late. didn't do much today, the only special thing is that wen wu and me talked on phone. first time talked to him on phone, kind of not used to it. but he's as crappy as me so i guess our conversation not bad at all. too bad i can't play pool with him today, really very bored at home. oh, today i helped my mother bake pineapple tarts, very nice. sometimes i feel so tired of baking the same old pineapple tarts again and again. hope to try something new like sponge cakes with cream. damn, thinking of all these make me hungry.
isignoff11:42 PM
question
i have a question to ask. did anyone notice that there are always white dots on the handle of the escalator? why is it there?
isignoff2:35 PM
tired+tired+tired day
woke up late today, actually wanted to meet tong how at serangoon swimming complex at 11am but woke up only at 10 plus so had to change the time to noon. we are suppose to go to katong branch's sheng siong to look for job but in the end never go because tong how say he wants to go to henderson building. oh ya, tong how said i sound like maurice, said that i keep typing his name in my blog like how maurice keeps calling his name. so i'll be using he/him if i wanted to use the word tong how so that i won't sound like other people. we went to plaza singapura's cafe cartel to have lunch before going to tiong bahru. the waitress nearly dropped the plate, the sauce splashed on my hands, so hot and so pain. *sob* went to toilet to cool my hands. reached the interchange and walked for quite some time to find the henderson building. at first we thought we went into the wrong lobby, but it's the correct one, so we walked like extra miles to reach the place. the company is called 'T.I.T.A.N' inc private limited. we are suppose to attend lessons before we can promote public awareness for some big companies during exhibitions or road shows. after that we went to raffles city's food court to find his auntie who introduced a 100hr $500 dollar job. but me and him cannot work together, so not good. went back to hougang to help my friend take sec 4 books from avril's house. avril working so not free, that's why i have to take the books myself. after taking the books we went to look for avril to say hi then i have to rush down to orchard for another job interview as waitress. have to thank tong how once again, he's been very kind, helped me to carry my bag and also helped me brought the books home. any girls out there who are looking for a guy who cares and helpful, tong how is the man! humph, so i went down to orchard to meet yinru. walked to shaw house and found the place. it's jason's birthday today, i bought him a famous amos cookie's lollipop. xiu min bought a cake there to celebrate his birthday. jason is 17 years old, so fast, i'm still 16. waited for the manager to come for more than 2 hours, during that period of time we sing jason birthday song and jason got cake on his face, expected. can't wait for jim's birthday to come, many people will surely take revenge on him, hahaZ, sorry jim! the interview went out alright, the manager is a fun guy, very easy to talk with. rushed back to compasspoint to buy bread and butter before going home. very tired.
isignoff1:01 AM
20050105
tired day
went out for job interview with tong how today, bengawan solo's new year promoter. the guy who intro us the job say tong how wear until too simple, so he had to go home to change first before going to toa payoh for interview. first time went to his house, quite excited. i must really thank tong how for coming with me, so that i won't be annoyed by you-know-who. tong how's house very cosy, first thing he step into his room is on the air con. do you know that he didn't have any fan in his room? lucky boy, everyday get to on the air con. during rainy days guess he also on the air con, later got frozen up not my fault. he got x-box in his room, plus a tv and dvd player, how i wish i can have his room. anyway, he's room is neater than mine, much neater, maybe he don't study or something. haha, sorry about that, tong how is a smart guy. slack in his room for quite long, sorry to say that we actually made that guy wait for us at toa payoh. but if i know that there are another person interviewing for the job, i will not do that. unreluctantly we left the house and go for our interview. the lady ask some questions and done. went to the library there to borrow books, realised that i keep reading the same old stories about astronomy and cosmology, so i borrowed books on chemistry this time. still got time left, so we decided to play pool before going home. tong how won again, not surprising at all. he keeps asking me to hold the rod tight, hit in the middle of the ball, aim at the right angle, blablabla. but i still don't get it in the end, i fail my maths and physics for your information. angles know me but i don't know them. after playing, we went home. tong how ps me because the bus reached his house first. what after that i don't wish to say, ask tong how if you are interested. anyway, i left my house and saw nchs students going home. suddenly i missed my school alot, i mean alot. i thought i would never miss my school, but somehow it came back to haunt me or something. really miss my friends and some teachers. and the days of climbing through the glass windows to enter a locked classroom, going against unpopular school teachers, breaking the school rules by eating and drinking in classroom, wearing school shirt with PE shirt tucked out underneath it, secretly keep chemistry textbook in class, there's really alot of things to write about.
isignoff11:42 PM
some information
here are some information i read today, or isit yesterday? both days la...
+ the moon take 27 days, 7 hours, and 43 minutes to make exactly one turn around earth.
+ venus is perpetually covered from equator to pole by a 9-mile thick layer of clouds of concentrated sulfuric acid. if the chem lab have no more sulfuric acid can take from there.
+ jupiter make one complete turn in 9 hours, 55 minutes and 30 seconds.
+ saturn spin once every 10 hours, 39 minutes and 22 seconds.
+ one day on uranus is about 17 hours and 14 minutes.
+ pluto takes 6 days 9 hours 17 minutes to turn once on it's axis.
+ about 700 million tons of hydrogen turn into helium every second near the center of the sun, with 5 million tons vanishing, turned into pure energy.
+ the solar system takes about 226 million years to make one orbit around the galactic center.
kevin once ask me this question: does all stars have the same brightness? don't really know the answer then, so i found this explanation:
there are two simple factors determine the brightness of a star: temperature and surface area. the bigger the star, the more surface area it has, and every square inches, the more light, the more square inches, the more light. hot things are brighter than cool things, so the hotter the star, the more light it generates per square inch of surface area.
understand? i hope so. but i still don't know the answer to kevin's question about how to measure the distance of stars. is it by some instrument they invent? nevermind, i shall know someday.
black hole is interesting, it is invisible. how i wish there's a black hole right infront of me, then i can get suck into the black hole, disappear and never return. i guess even if i disappear no one will notice anyway.
isignoff1:18 PM
songs
the song my blog is playing is a very nice song, although it's quite long ago one, it's still as popular as before and kevin loves this song too. there's one song which totally reflect how i feel right now. it's a song by greenday, greenday wrote very beautiful songs, and the title is 'Boulevard of broken dreams '. go download if you have the time, but be careful not to get caught.
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone
I walk alone and I walk a-
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone
Ah..ah..
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone
I walk alone and I walk a-
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone
Ah..ah..
I walk alone and I walk a-
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a-
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone
isignoff1:07 PM
20050104
waste my time
went to ps with jason to buy jigsaw puzzle's frame for mandy's jigsaw puzzle. wow, the frame damn expensive, plus the jigsaw more expensive (duh...) after that went to jason's house to connect the jigsaw they finish. 7 pieces missing, actually still got 5 more pieces still in some envelope somewhere in his room but he can't find. so i watched tv while he messed up his room. so nice, his house got scv, so i watched mtv. so happy, saw the mtvs of brian mcfandden's (not macdonald) 'real to me'. think he look better now than last time when he was in westlife. the second mtv is gwen stefani's 'what you waiting for'. then got one mtv is by maksim, he's a very good piano player. his speed damn fast lor, and he's good looking also. humph, continue there's ashlee simpson's 'la la', alicia keys' 'karma' and jay sean's 'stolen'. i can watch that channel for the whole day. after finish the framing (of the jigsaw, not someone), jason had to rush to mandy's house before going to work. i have to go see doctor, but so stupid, i went there the clinic close. then i don't want to wait so go home. waste my time only, should have not go to see doctor in the first place. decide to change my font size, realised that the previous one very small, i see until my eyes pain.
isignoff11:03 PM
lalala~
get the courage to step on the weighing machine once again. close my eyes, take a deep breathe, it's 42kg! so glad i didn't put on weight although i lack of exercise for the past few months. hope that the weighing machine is accurate. phew, relieved, and can eat somemore. maybe is because i can't seem to get myself to eat lately, don't have the appetite to eat. maybe i should stop starving myself. don't wish to get myself sick and faint again like the other time. anyway, the doctor thought i was trying to lose weight or something that's why i faint. actually it's...haiz...don't talk about it anymore.
isignoff1:15 AM
20050103
first day of school - not for me
most of my friend went back to school today, so good. feeling so sick, some girl thing, nothing to worry about. kevin messaged me early in the morning, i mean 10 plus when i just woke up, told me about his orientation. HOW nice of him, see i cannot go jc then still say about jc. just kidding, really glad he messaged me, at least i get to know what people do in jc orientation. seems like many are having fun, wished i was there. very funny, he told me how uncomfortable he is to see people from some girls' school sit unsightly as though they are still in their single sex school where no one cares about how you sit. didn't managed to go out today, not feeling well, don't think it's a girl thing afterall. think im going to see doctor soon before i die. mr tien teach sec 5b this year, hope that he won't get angry that often, which i think he will.
do you know that a mar's day is 24 hours and 37 minutes?
today watched 2 movies back to back. first movie is meet the fockers and the second one is the notebook. meet the fockers is still as funny as the first, realise that the guy have the same job as my 'daddy'. they deal with many secrets mission and stuffs. the notebook is a very touching show, watch until i cry. the story started off with this old man telling a story to this old woman who have lost her memory. the story is about a rich city girl falling deeply in love with a poor country boy. they love each other, but the girl's mother rejected their relationship as the boy is poor and forced the girl to study in another country. so they broke up with the boy shouting and the girl screaming. the boy wrote letters to her everyday for 365 days telling her how sorry he is and how he still loves her but the girl's mother kept all the letters. after a few years after the war, the girl found another guy and planned to marry the guy. but the boy and the girl meet each other one day and they still love each other alot. in the end the girl decided to be with the boy. somehow the old lady got back her memories and realised that the story is talking about her past and her husband is actually the old man. in the very end, they died together in the hospital with their hand held together. so sad, but a very warm and touching story.
isignoff11:15 PM
20050102
cold
the weather had been so cold lately. it's been raining non stop, just like my heart been crying for so long. my life got cold, my heart is cold, my tears have gone cold too. for me, the new year started off very disappointing. i cried myself to sleep on new year day, it hurts so bad that i cannot remain at my right state of emotion. everything is changing, everyone is changing, i wanted to go back to what it used to be. i wanted to feel what i felt last time, the familiar feeling, the same feeling, the similar special feeling. well, it's impossible, everything is gone, i will never get it back.
do you know that the earth turns once in 23 hours, 56 minutes and 4 seconds?
watched kung fu hustle today. a very lame show, very fake but funny to a certain extent. didn't realise that stephen chow is the directer as well as the actor just like jackie chan. maybe jack neo wants to be like them too. not bad a show afterall, although i am not in the mood to watch the movie. something is very wrong, maybe because movie was happy and i was sad.
isignoff11:31 PM
20050101
new year resolution
happy new year! a year just pass so quickly, realised that i did not do anything much in a year. here's my new year resolution and reflection:
+ i will be strong to overcome forces that are putting me down, making me useless and weak. i will stand up once again, and forever.
+ i will study hard, for knowledge and skills that will benefit me in future. with wisdom, i will be respected by others, and not being looked down by genius.
+ i will live, i will not fall and will remain healthy until i get my results.
+ i will open my eyes and shall not be naive. being taken advantages of will never happen to me.
+ i will love, love my family, friends, elmo and enemies. i will learn how to love someone who doesn't love me.
+ i will forgive but not forget. i will not fall into the same trap over and over again.
+ i will get a job, to make myself useful. earn money for the sake that i did not choose to go for jc.
+ i will control my emotions, not to let people to see the softer side of me. i will remain strong.
+ i will hold on to my anger to prevent tragedy from happening.
+ i will make new friends, be nice and i will still be close to my existing friends.
+ i will be thrifty, save lots of money and be rich.
+ i will jump, jump and jump high enough to touch the sky. i shall be over the moon when i see the beautiful and perfect stars.
+ i will smile when i wake up, smile when i sleep, smile when im dreaming.
+ i shall be happy, happy for people who love.
+ i shall be sad, sad for people who hate.
+ i will hold on to whom i love, i will love him forever.
+ i will scream, yell out my heart to let him know how much he means to me.
+ i will stay available, to help those who need a listening ear.
+ i will remain mute, silent, to keep secrets that are important.
+ i will get what i need, not what i want.
+ i will give chances to those who deserve them, reject those who brought sadness into my life.
+ i will mend my own broken heart, not other people.
+ i will continue to be independent, i don't need anyone to sympathise me.
reflections:
+ i apologies for all the pain i cause for some people, people whom i love, i once loved and hate.
+ i regretted for not going into jc
+ i should not take things for granted, i must earn them.
+ i should have studied hard, not waiting for the last moment.
there's too much that if i were to type everything down. basically i just hope that everyone will live happily and stay healthy. happy 2005, may the year be better than the previous.
isignoff1:02 AM
